Different places Notes: When I went to Paris everyone said I had to go to all these famous places like the Louvre and the Catacombs. But I didn’t care. I just walked around a lot and ate a lot of good pastries. I suppose this song is my travel manifesto. When I said I wanted to go  on a vacation.  I meant Vermont, not Vietnam. you always get me wrong. And when I went to gay paris  I didn't even visit the louvre. Would would I spend my money on something I know I won't louvre. chorus Two different places  two different states one is filled with faces and  one is filled with names. v2 I've never been to the uh,  col-lolo-lesium,  but I've been to my fair share  of museums.  And once you walk down one hall  you walk through a few. when you're talking to an old friend you're meeting someone new.  Jesus Bed Notes: I wrote this when I was hungover and had some loopy thoughts. I thought about how Jesus might have been if he went to college. How would you act if you knew you’d be crucified at 33? I thought he would probably try to sleep with as many girls as possible. But that’s just the chorus. For the first verse, I’d heard that ancient people used polished onyx for mirrors. So I imagined them doing that. Then the second is more talking about the old testament, when God was angry. Mirrors used to be so rare Now you can find them anywhere you go In the bible they had one   for doing their hair.  they'd take it to the river Just to see the back of their head Just to see the back of their head. Chorus:  Jesus said  if you come drinking with me tonight you can sleep at my house, yeah. You can sleep in my room. You can even sleep in my bed.  Sleep in jesus' bed, yeah Come sleep in jesus bed. Sleep in jesus' bed, yeah Sleep in your savior's bed Verse: God was always judging people by their deeds. And people  were always  sorting out animals  by their feet People were getting turned into pillars of salt. Getting burned up Just for shooting their mouths off. Cut and Smear Notes: I listened to a podcast about Munchausen syndrome. They said that some people give themselves gangrene by cutting themselves and smearing feces into their wounds. Then they tell the doctor they don’t know what happened. I thought that was pretty outrageous, so i wanted to write a dance-song to that. Cut your finger really deep and smear some shit in your wound put a glove on and wait about a week. you go to the doctor and the doctor says how did you get that shit in your wound How did you get that shit in your wound? Couldn’t stop doing, doing that old, cut cut and smear Couldn’t stop doing doing that old cut, cut and smear. Nowadays when you leave the house your mom always checks your hands. She checks them for cuts and she checks them for gangrene. You always had those dirty hands. You always had those fucking dirty hands. Family Judge Notes: The first verse is about when my mom asked me to look at my sister and decide if she was stoned. I pretended like I did and then just told my mom, “No.” The second verse was about this kid in high school who was young, but very handsome and popular. I hated him. I was called to stand before the family judge. The defendant was my sister. She’d come home all drunk and stoned. She called on my witness but I brought out her drugs. Chorus Sometimes when you’re young you get caught acting dumb. It doesn’t mean you’re dumb no you were just having fun. X2 My little brother was the freshman prince. Age fourteen he had full beard and a fake id. He used to buy the older kids their cigarettes and beer. He used to eat his lunch with all the punks and the queers. Call Me Notes: This was written after end of a relationship, when you’re second-guessing every move and dissecting things, trying to see where it went wrong. And maybe still trying to keep some attachment to that person, though you know it’s not healthy. Who do you call when you see a ghost who do you call? Who do you call when your stereo is broken? Do you need a ride because I could drive you home. Still living on my my way home so I could take you there. v2 You can call me. You can still call me. I hope you call me. I hope you still call me. When I look at all the faces in the photos I try and see if we were happy that night. How do you know if you’re happy? Maybe you’re really sad. chorus verse 3 When you moved out i was so happy. I moved my bed against the wall. i never did believe in that shit you call feng sheui. I never did believe. and I don’t want to be a part of any club that would have me. You say I’m just being maudlin but it really does feel true. Yes it really does feel true. Pay for myself Notes: This song is just about the end of a relationship and all the small ways things begin to fracture between two people. The chorus wonders if the good times were worth the pain that comes with the end of the relationship. You say you like the Smiths But I don't even have their greatest hits. And I kill mosquitos  with my hands And I prefer the ceiling fan to the AC. What did you expect from me? Not the same thing that I bring. Not the same thing that I bring. Chorus Did I really pay  for myself Pay for myself? I sincerely wanted to know To know your family well.  Pioneers Notes: The first verse is about our first bass player, Jim. He was a pretty crazy guy and hard to pin down. But he was always ready to play and brought a lot of energy to the band. Now he lives in Paris with his wife. The second verse is about the owner of our old practice room. He was very kind and a very good host, and a good friend to us. I hope he’s doing well now. The choruses are based on an Andy Warhol quote. I think he was talking about this drag queen named Wayne County. Sunny Jim was a pastor’s kid from Kalamazoo, Michigan. He was a pretty good bass player to me. Yeah he liked to get his head wet before shows but he never did forget his bass lines. He was a pretty good bass player to me. Some pioneers never get to see the frontier. But I hope that you do. I’m gonna pray for you. Hotknife master was a very good host to me. Last winter his basement was a very cozy place to be. And he taught me some of those veteran moves. Taught me how to pull smoke from blood. Taught me you can’t just smoke from what’s broken. Company Dungeon Notes: This is just musing about some guy who’s stuck in a corporate life. Then he moves to China and marries a Chinese woman and lives in the countryside in Southern China, which is very beautiful. I’ve been there. But he doesn’t like it there either. I don’t think he’d be happy anywhere. v Stuck in the company dungeon trapped by my boss's gang. They say they're from chicago. But their bags say champagne. c We'll find a way out we'll find out for ourselves. We'll find a way out.  We'll find out for ourselves. We'll find out We'll find a way out.  v Living in the ozarks of china. Living with my pretty little  chinese wife.  Trying to find someone to design a house for us.  trying to find an 18 hole golf course for me.  Stray Dogs Notes: I just imagined this rural family. It’s from the point of view of a son who’s always being outdone by his brother. The chorus was inspired by this podcast I listen to. They were talking about Thomas Edison and how he used to experiment with electricity on stray dogs that his assistants would round up in the street. Mother was raised by peacocks. Father was trained by god. One summer my brother brought home a country hog. Me I never worked to hard because it was so hot. Even in the Ozarks the waterslides all dried up. For mothers day I bought my mom a hysterectomy. Brother bought her a cruise on the caribbean sea. For father’s day I bought my dad a tape of guys blowing shit up. My brother bought him a pair of golden handcuffs. We used to light up stray dogs. We used to light off fireworks off in the park. We used to light up stray dogs. We used to light fireworks off in the fog.