Smooth Poodle

by Table People

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released October 29, 2014



Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.


Table People Republic of Korea

A band of Koreans and Americans that make rock and roll songs.

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Track Name: Different Places
Different places

Notes: When I went to Paris everyone said I had to go to all these famous places like the Louvre and the Catacombs. But I didn’t care. I just walked around a lot and ate a lot of good pastries. I suppose this song is my travel manifesto.

When I said I wanted to go 
on a vacation. 
I meant Vermont,
not Vietnam.
you always get me wrong.
And when I went to gay paris 
I didn't even visit the louvre.
Would would I spend my money
on something I know I won't louvre.

Two different places 
two different states
one is filled with faces and 
one is filled with names.

I've never been to the uh, 
but I've been to my fair share 
of museums. 
And once you walk down one hall 
you walk through a few.
when you're talking to an old friend
you're meeting someone new. 

Jesus Bed
Notes: I wrote this when I was hungover and had some loopy thoughts. I thought about how Jesus might have been if he went to college. How would you act if you knew you’d be crucified at 33? I thought he would probably try to sleep with as many girls as possible. But that’s just the chorus. For the first verse, I’d heard that ancient people used polished onyx for mirrors. So I imagined them doing that. Then the second is more talking about the old testament, when God was angry.

Mirrors used to be so rare
Now you can find them anywhere you go
In the bible they had one 
 for doing their hair.
 they'd take it to the river
Just to see the back of their head
Just to see the back of their head.


Jesus said
 if you come drinking with me tonight
you can sleep at my house, yeah.
You can sleep in my room.
You can even sleep in my bed. 
Sleep in jesus' bed, yeah
Come sleep in jesus bed.
Sleep in jesus' bed, yeah
Sleep in your savior's bed

God was always judging
people by their deeds.
And people 
were always 
sorting out animals 
by their feet
People were getting
turned into
pillars of salt.
Getting burned up
Just for shooting
their mouths off.

Cut and Smear
Notes: I listened to a podcast about Munchausen syndrome. They said that some people give themselves gangrene by cutting themselves and smearing feces into their wounds. Then they tell the doctor they don’t know what happened. I thought that was pretty outrageous, so i wanted to write a dance-song to that.

Cut your finger really deep
and smear some shit in your wound
put a glove on and wait about a week.
you go to the doctor and the doctor says
how did you get that shit in your wound
How did you get that shit in your wound?

Couldn’t stop doing,
doing that old, cut
cut and smear
Couldn’t stop doing
doing that old cut,
cut and smear.

Nowadays when you leave the house
your mom always checks your hands.
She checks them for cuts
and she checks them for gangrene.
You always had those dirty hands.
You always had those fucking dirty hands.

Family Judge
Notes: The first verse is about when my mom asked me to look at my sister and decide if she was stoned. I pretended like I did and then just told my mom, “No.” The second verse was about this kid in high school who was young, but very handsome and popular. I hated him.

I was called to stand before
the family judge.
The defendant was my sister.
She’d come home all drunk
and stoned.
She called on my witness
but I brought out her drugs.

Sometimes when you’re young
you get caught acting dumb.
It doesn’t mean you’re dumb
no you were just having fun.

My little brother was the
freshman prince.
Age fourteen he had
full beard and a fake id.
He used to buy the older kids
their cigarettes and beer.
He used to eat his lunch
with all the punks
and the queers.

Call Me
Notes: This was written after end of a relationship, when you’re second-guessing every move and dissecting things, trying to see where it went wrong. And maybe still trying to keep some attachment to that person, though you know it’s not healthy.

Who do you call
when you see a ghost
who do you call?
Who do you call
when your stereo
is broken?
Do you need a ride
because I could
drive you home.
Still living on my my way home
so I could take you there.

You can call me.
You can still call me.
I hope you call me.
I hope you still call me.

When I look at all the faces
in the photos
I try and see if we were
happy that night.
How do you know if you’re happy?
Maybe you’re really sad.


verse 3
When you moved out i was so happy.
I moved my bed against the wall.
i never did believe in that shit
you call feng sheui.
I never did believe.
and I don’t want to be
a part of any club that would have me.
You say I’m just being maudlin
but it really does feel true.
Yes it really does feel true.

Pay for myself

Notes: This song is just about the end of a relationship and all the small ways things begin to fracture between two people. The chorus wonders if the good times were worth the pain that comes with the end of the relationship.

You say you like the Smiths
But I don't even
have their greatest hits.
And I kill mosquitos 
with my hands
And I prefer the ceiling fan
to the AC.
What did you expect from me?
Not the same thing that I bring.
Not the same thing that I bring.

Did I really pay 
for myself
Pay for myself?
I sincerely wanted to know
To know your family well. 

Notes: The first verse is about our first bass player, Jim. He was a pretty crazy guy and hard to pin down. But he was always ready to play and brought a lot of energy to the band. Now he lives in Paris with his wife. The second verse is about the owner of our old practice room. He was very kind and a very good host, and a good friend to us. I hope he’s doing well now. The choruses are based on an Andy Warhol quote. I think he was talking about this drag queen named Wayne County.

Sunny Jim was a pastor’s kid
from Kalamazoo, Michigan.
He was a pretty good
bass player to me.
Yeah he liked to get his head
wet before shows
but he never did forget
his bass lines.
He was a pretty good
bass player to me.

Some pioneers never get
to see the frontier.
But I hope that you do.
I’m gonna pray for you.

Hotknife master was
a very good host to me.
Last winter his basement
was a very cozy place to be.
And he taught me some of those
veteran moves.
Taught me how to pull smoke
from blood.
Taught me you can’t just
smoke from what’s broken.

Company Dungeon
Notes: This is just musing about some guy who’s stuck in a corporate life. Then he moves to China and marries a Chinese woman and lives in the countryside in Southern China, which is very beautiful. I’ve been there. But he doesn’t like it there either. I don’t think he’d be happy anywhere.

Stuck in the company dungeon
trapped by my boss's gang.
They say they're from chicago.
But their bags say champagne.

We'll find a way out
we'll find out for ourselves.
We'll find a way out. 
We'll find out for ourselves.
We'll find out
We'll find a way out. 

Living in the ozarks of china.
Living with my pretty little 
chinese wife. 
Trying to find someone to design
a house for us. 
trying to find an 18 hole
golf course for me. 

Stray Dogs
Notes: I just imagined this rural family. It’s from the point of view of a son who’s always being outdone by his brother. The chorus was inspired by this podcast I listen to. They were talking about Thomas Edison and how he used to experiment with electricity on stray dogs that his assistants would round up in the street.

Mother was raised by peacocks.
Father was trained by god.
One summer my brother
brought home a country hog.
Me I never worked to hard
because it was so hot.
Even in the Ozarks
the waterslides all dried up.

For mothers day I bought
my mom a hysterectomy.
Brother bought her a cruise
on the caribbean sea.
For father’s day I bought
my dad a tape of guys
blowing shit up.
My brother bought him
a pair of golden handcuffs.

We used to light up stray dogs.
We used to light off fireworks
off in the park.
We used to light up stray dogs.
We used to light fireworks
off in the fog.